2022 is winding down, my mates, so it is time to begin brainstorming all of the resolutions we’ll decide to, publish proudly on Fb, after which quietly renege on by Valentines’. To not accomplish that could be positively UNAMERICAN, so let’s get began!

Simply keep in mind: The ol’ “higher weight loss program and extra train” routine is BO-RING. No one cares when you ever match into your school denims once more, mkay? So why not give us one thing with somewhat extra zip? Somewhat extra pizazz? Somewhat extra “yahoo and the way?”

You already know, like: 

– Higher bowel habits.

Or consuming much less booze. Actually, this cake works for each.


– Change into a vegetarian

That is at all times a hip, occurring form of selection – in contrast to utilizing the phrases “hip” and/or “occurring.” And when you want somewhat incentive:

Thaaaat oughta do it.

 (The baker despatched this to me herself, btw, so do not assume I am being imply by leaving that watermark on. And sure, it is SUPPOSED to be bloody fried hen. So talking as somebody who actually likes fried hen, I might wish to want a pox on the home of Jen’s Just Desserts – whereas absolutely realizing the overwhelming irony of the title.)


For a extra mental New Yr’s objective, how about:

– Go to varsity

Clown school completely counts. Plus it is excellent for anybody who hates kids*!


This is one we are able to all aspire to: 

– Be extra supportive of mates and family members:

‘Nuff stated.


Or, lastly, in 2023:

– Do not be afraid to confess if you’ve made a mistake.

 In spite of everything, there is not any disgrace in admitting if you’re improper.

There are, nonetheless, sure web site audiences which is able to get an actual kick out of it.


Due to Anony M., Jen R., Diana, Michelle B., & Sarah G. for the options. Personally, I believe I am going with “play extra video video games” and “depart the home extra.” You, uh, do not suppose these two will intrude with one another, do you? o.0

*I say this as a former clown who does, in reality, have a powerful dislike of youngsters. (Hey, do not choose ’til you have seen a roving pack of unsupervised kids descend upon a single clown bearing a bag of sweet, okay? They’re animals. ANIMALS, I let you know!)