No Excuses? Right here, Attempt These

Expensive Jen,
Assist! It is July and there are not any good holidays developing, plus no birthdays in my household, and I WANT CAKE. Are you able to assist?
– Cakeless in Cincinnati
Expensive Cakeless,
My expensive wrecky minion, you’ve got come to the precise place. Truth is, there are heaps of excuses for cake, in the event you solely study to have a good time the little issues in life.
A couple of strategies:
I POOPED TODAY!
Relying in your fiber consumption, I guess a few of you may have a good time this EVERY day.
My ’99 Nokia Nonetheless Works!
Leslie claims this was purported to say “Outdated mates are the perfect.” However give it some thought: are you able to play Sweet Crush in your mates when you’re pooping? NO YOU CANNOT.
I relaxation my case.
It Was Only a Warmth Rash!
Time will inform.
(Truly, Rebecca tells me this was purported to say “Child.” Is she telling the reality? Mmmm… PERHAPS.)
I am A Nice Eating Companion!
Particularly whereas consuming cake.
That Factor Is Over!
SUCH a reduction, am I proper?
However perhaps none of those apply to you, Cakeless.
In that case, here is one for almost everyone:
Not Lifeless But!
In reality, I feel we should always all congratulate one another for not being lifeless but.
So, congratulations, guys.
And sorry, ghosts-with-internet-access.
Due to Alyssa V., Rebecca W., Leslie M., Emilie F., Scott D., & Kat R. for the right excuse.
*****
And now, our product placement of the day!